Happiness is a choice.
People may not like hearing that. There’s certainly been times when I would have scowled at that statement. But throughout the years, I’ve come to understand it. It simply means: you can choose to be happy. It doesn’t mean everything in life is perfect, or that it’s easy to be happy, or that you shouldn’t feel ‘negative’ feelings, but that allowing - even welcoming! - the feeling or emotion of happiness or joy in your body is a mental decision.
For example, I can waste my energy being annoyed at someone who pushed past me on the street, or I can also decide to not let it affect me for longer than 2 seconds, shake it off and refocus my energy on more important things. This is the key to a ‘happy’ life. Actually allowing happiness. Choosing it when the choice arises. Accepting that we are only in control of ourselves, no matter what.
Recently I’ve been reading a book called The Language of Emotions: What your feelings are trying to tell you, and I’ve gained a new appreciation for what we see as “bad” or “negative” emotions. We need our anxiety, we need shame, we need guilt. The goal is not to avoid these. But we need to feel them momentarily: to stay true to our morals and good decisions. We do not need them as self flagellating tormentors that haunt us every single moment of the day. We also cannot be ‘happy’ the whole time. That would be manic, and a repression of other emotions. It’s all a balance, one that is constantly changing.
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