Why are we so obsessed with being busy?

let's take a collective breath

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As you might know, a big focus of this newsletter is how we can live happier lives - whatever that means to each of us. Something I’ve noticed within the collective is our obsession with being busy - even though in 99% of cases it doesn’t bring us joy. It’s like we need to achieve as much as possible to find joy, but ironically that’s the thing that is hindering said joy.
I’ve seen this happening in myself and friends for years, but it feels more prevalent now than ever. Simply being doesn’t feel enough. We berate ourselves for relaxing, our ‘guilty pleasures’ are actually just us not being productive: it’s seen as something we need to feel guilty about.

The ever clichéd response to ‘how are you’ being ‘sooo busy!’ has become a badge of honour of sorts. How can we out-busy each other? As if the busiest person wins, because it means they are doing the most and therefore the most successful. Which is why it’s important to note: what is success to you? We each have our own definition, and often it’s linked to happiness. We’ve programmed it to be: if I feel successful, I’ll be happy, rather than: if I feel happy, I’ll be successful.

I think ‘happier’ for a lot of us equals = slowing down. It’s a fantasy for many ‘If I could just have more time, more time for me, my family, my hobbies… then I’d be okay’ - we are so wrapped up in work and busy-ness (literally business) that work has become our lives. And I say this as someone who has been their own boss for 8 years: it’s my fault. I choose this. Unconsciously, perhaps, but I do.

Of course we all need to work to live, but these days it has become so linked to being a part of us. Our work must reflect who we are, it can’t just be a job. But it can. We are allowed to detach our personality and life goals from work. We CAN just BE.

Whether it’s being seen to be busy or actually filling every waking moment with ‘something’ we ‘do’. This links back to what I was speaking about in a previous newsletter, on how we have been programmed to live predominantly in our masculine energy (no matter what gender you are).

I’ve been trying to slow down, I really have. But what I notice when I do is that I judge myself for being unproductive. How dare I use time just for myself - with nothing to show for it?